Politics

Michelle Obama Says She Plans To Run Against Trump in 2020 – With Barack As Her V.P.!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking move, Michelle Obama says she is ready to begin campaigning for a shot at the White House in 2020. The announcement comes after several months of speculation, but with Michelle always saying it wasn’t going to happen. The news also includes a shocking running mate – Michelle’s husband, former …

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Michelle Obama Officially Announces Her Candidacy for President

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Michelle Obama, the wife of former president Barack Obama, has announced that she will be running for president in the 2020 election. “I know I’m a lot later than most people, but to be honest, there’s no reason to start running 2 years before the election,” said Michelle Obama from the family …

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Barack Obama Announces Plans To Get Elected As Italian Prime Minister

FLORENCE, Italy – Former President Barack Obama has announced his bid to become Italy’s newest Prime Minister. After discovering that Italian law did not dictate that the leader of the country must be a citizen, Obama stated that he had plans that would “directly lead to his election” as Italy’s Prime Minister. “Italy has …

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President Trump Set To Legalize Marijuana on a Federal Level

President Trump announced earlier this morning via Twitter that he would be legalizing marijuana on a federal level, which would automatically lift restrictions in every state, even those that have yet to set up legalization and retail options. “At this point, there’s really no reason to continue classifying it as a Schedule 1 drug,” …

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Planned Parenthood Announces They Will Stop Performing Abortions At All Clinics Nationwide

ATLANTA, Georgia – In a press release from Planned Parenthood, the non-profit company announced today that they would be ceasing to perform any abortions at any of their clinics throughout the country. The reason, they say, is not because of increased pressure from religious groups or right-wing nutjobs, but because they just really are …

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Michelle Obama Files For Divorce After Shocking Revelation; Barack Obama Admits: ‘I’m Gay!’

PHILADELPHIA, PA Former President Barack Obama announced late last night that he had filed for divorce from his wife of 27 years, Michelle Obama, after he revealed a secret double life as a homosexual. “It is with a bit of sadness and a whole lot of relief that I announce that Michelle and I have …

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Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend

WASHINGTON, D.C. President Trump has decided to throw a massive “I Beat Impeachment” party at the White House, which is slated to kickoff around 6PM on Saturday, with plans to run until the early morning hours on Monday. “This is going to be the biggest, and best event that the White House has ever seen,” …

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